This is an open letter to a younger me, but it is also to anybody who needs to hear what I’m going to try to say (may the Gods give me the words);
to “baby heathens” and new seekers in the pagan community in general;
to those who have been reading and asking questions, but are nervous about starting down the path – the actual acts – building an altar, making offerings, changing aspects of your life;
to those who feel like their spiritual growth and understanding have been stunted because they have had to stay “in the closet” or simply live in a disapproving or hostile environment;
to those who know who they are and who they have faith in, but who struggle with impostor syndrome:
You are good enough for the Gods.
I’m not going to imply that you’re perfect. I’m not either! But you’re as imperfect as the rest of us. You can become better – we will, as humanity, become better together, if we keep going.
But that failing of yours that you think makes you unworthy? It’s not that important to them. The Gods see us – our real selves, the sum of all our actions – and see what we may become.
People are going to tell you that you have to meet a high standard, that you will be rejected if you’re not part of the right club, that They can’t hear you because you’re not important enough.
They can hear whoever they like. They decide who is Important.
People will try to tell you that the Gods don’t care about you if you are, or aren’t, a particular race or color, or a particular sexuality or gender.
Those people are idiots. It’s not that the Gods don’t see these things – They do. The Powers can see you whole, as you are – They aren’t blind to any part of you. No omniscience required, They just see you from a different viewpoint. But, Their rejecting a human being based on these things – these things that are part of, or the effect of, gifts we have received from the Gods – would be absurd.
So be who you are, and do what you’re able to. It is okay to want more, to want to do more, but for now, you are enough.
To have a large shrine or altar with high quality icons and decorations is the dream, but to light a tealight candle next to a simple dish full of salt, or arrange a shelf as a secret shrine, or give an unorthodox libation, as long as it is sincere, is enough.
To write an elaborate ritual, a long poem of praise, a beautiful song, in honor of the Gods is wonderful, but simply acknowledging the gods, saying their names, thanking them, that is enough.
To stand, or sit, or kneel, as you wish, if you feel you are in the presence of the Divine, is enough.
The study materials that you have access to are enough, for now, and when you’ve run through them all there are always new ways to find books and papers. The time and attention you have to give them is always being pressed on by other things, and that’s okay. That’s just life. If you make time, you will find you have enough.
I don’t speak for the Gods. Maybe some of Them disagree with me, out there. I mean, there are so many. But, I’m saying this based upon my experience and the people who I have talked to about theirs over the years – so please, at least consider it.
If you are earnestly doing what you are able, I believe They see that, and are proud of you.
And if I’m wrong, and They don’t, then I see it, and I am proud of you. Keep going.